I started this blog a year and a half ago, thinking that I was going to record my debt payoff and try to raise awareness about student loans. I fell off that bandwagon quickly. In the last 19 months, I’ve suffered a grand mal seizure from being hooked on benzodiazepines, broke my leg, filed for bankruptcy, fought with my ex husband over my daughter, fell in and out of love with the same man, lost my father, worked a grueling caregiver job, and suffered from panic attacks. My body has been through hell because of panic attacks. They say a panic attack can’t kill you, but I beg to differ. My world was turned upside down by panic attacks.
I feel like now that I am winning the fight with my ex husband over my daughter, am one year post-bankruptcy, I have a job that is better money than any of my caring-for-people jobs ever were, and things are actually in my control now- like the things that used to matter no longer do. I no longer feel like I have “impossible situations”. I can control things now. I have the ability to choose to do things that would solve my problems. Between 2014-2019, I really didn’t. It was extremely scary.
So I don’t think I should keep a blog anymore called a “debt journey”. Debt is no longer the pressing issue. It no longer consumes me. I don’t have any desire to follow Dave Ramsey, or any of these other finance bloggers and vloggers.
I would like to enjoy my life in a responsible and reasonable way now that I have a good job and my daughter is in her teens and with me more.
I’d just like to be the normal, motivated person I used to be. I’ll announce it when I figure out what a new blog should be called.