Supportive Friends

 I have three main female friends. My best friend is my cousin. She’s a psychiatrist, and she’s actually getting married today!  I didn’t attend, because I didn’t want to run into other family. There’s no wedding party so she didn’t need me to stand. I’ll be attending virtually. More on her later. 

My other female friends are T and D. 

I’ve been careful about how I share details of my new relationship and basically my new life with Kevin in Waller. I’ve had three relationships in the past, and no one I know has ever been supportive of them. It’s always been an expectation on me to stay single. 

I was devastated when T sent me this text - 

Yes she is showing concern for my well being, but she’s never even met Kevin. She’s just assuming we are going to break up and I will “have nowhere to go.”  I feel like saying- I can “go” anywhere I want. Are you just not supposed to ever be with anyone because you might break up?  I don’t say anything like that back to her, because I don’t t want to be combative. I view the narrative in that text message to be unsupportive but disguised in concern. 

I was so worried about D’s true opinion that on her birthday (May 1), I went to the store and bought a small cake good enough for three people (her, me, and her husband), a few packages of kitchen towels, a gift bag with tissue, and I called to see if I could come over and give it all to her. We do this often. She’s a little bit of a shut in, so people often visit her in her home. Thankfully, she is working now though!  So that’s good. But while sitting over cake and coffee, she said “So tell me about this guy”. I told her everything. She was extremely supportive. I was so glad. I don’t think I could handle cutting T off if she gets really unsupportive if I didn’t have D or my cousin the shrink. 

I did ask my mother, why are people not mad at me for this relationship?  She said basically because of my age. I’m 45 now, and I’ve had so many life experiences according to her. I said if I was with Kevin 20 years ago, everyone would have slaughtered me. She said yeah, because when I was 25 I didn’t have as much life experience as I do now. I said ok, and when I’m 65, I’ll have even more. So I don’t get your point. 

My daughter turns 17 next month and is going to be a senior next year. She’s never dated or had a relationship. I hope she doesn’t go through the crap I went through. We all don’t want our kids going through what we did. 

Boroughs?

While Kevin and I go for walks on his parents’ 10 acres, we notice these random holes in the ground. I don’t know what they are. I’m not nature savvy. My guess is either boroughs where animals put their babies, or something to do with snakes. We have seen snakes!

 

Circle of Life 🐻 🦆 🐥

 This video started circulating- a bunch of kids are at a bear enclosure at a zoo. A mother duck and baby ducklings end up in the water in the enclosure. The bear makes his way over and starts snacking on the ducklings like popcorn. Everyone in the crowd is groaning. People are complaining that the kids are traumatized. 

I used to work at the children’s museum, and we had a coop with baby chicks. Another one had eggs. The babies often look dead when they first hatch because being born is hard work, and they’re tired. We often got complaints that the kids were traumatized by dead looking newborns. I would always explain it just like that- “Being born is hard work, and they’re just tired.”  That’s life!  

Once my daughter was watching a nature show from Africa, and an entire pride of lions feasted on a zebra. When they were done, all that was left of the zebra was his skeleton. My daughter was about five, and I had to explain the circle of life to her. Eventually, you’re going to have to explain it to your kids. It’s unpleasant, but they need to learn. They do get over it. I’m just saying. 

The Best Cat 🐈‍⬛

Kevin’s mom and stepfather have a guy from their church staying with them in the big house, and that roommate of theirs has this lovely cat named Buck. I absolutely adore Buck. He gives everyone what Kevin and I call “running head bonks.”  That is, if you see him kind of far away and you call him and stick your hand out for him, he’ll come sprinting over and give you a very aggressive head bonk. It’s like he hasn’t seen you in years and he’s just so happy to see you. He lets you pick him up and hold him. He’s just the most friendly cat I’ve ever seen. 

Then yesterday I was out, and Buck was following me around. I noticed that he has a heart shaped butthole. It’s hilarious and actually perfect. 

 

My Goals

 

1. Finish my real estate class and pass the state and national exams. Out of the six classes in the state of Texas to become licensed in real estate, I am currently 24% done with the sixth and last one. 

2. Continue to periodically pay the “accrued interest plus some” on my student loans so that they are “at least going down.”  

3. Start a Wordpress blog with a theme. I also know that a while ago, I was blogging about missing people that might be alive still. Writing about each and every individual case isn’t for me. I’d rather do one huge post about why we shouldn’t give up hope that they might still be alive. In general  

4. Distance myself/ lower contact with my mother. She is really really giving me a hard time lately, and so is one of her sisters. She is very active in church now and has those people. I deserve to not feel like I’m five years old again crying myself to sleep. 

My mom met my in laws 😩 👵🏻

 My mom spent the weekend up here in Waller with me. She met Kevin’s mother and stepfather and saw their 10 acre property where Kevin and I live in the guest house. My daughter Evita was also here. 

I think it went really well. We all went out for Italian food. My mom was reunited with my cat Alex. Alex seemed mad at her. Does he think my mom abandoned him?  Maybe. Maybe he doesn’t get that he’s not her cat. My mom also met my inlaws’ enormous dog Thomas and their roommate’s cat, Buck. She saw my garden which has a lot of sprouts. 

I honestly didn’t think my mom would approve. She’s so critical and judgmental of everything I do. She criticizes everything I do, all my friends, everything I like, etc. Maybe because she’s a widow now, she’s more accepting of me and mellow. She is realizing that I’m all she has. 

Kevin drove both my mother home and Evita back to her father on Sunday evening. We dropped off my mom first, then took Evita to her dad. I started expressing that I had a tension headache. Kevin said after we dropped Evita off, we’d go get some BC powder. Evita offered to give me what she calls “free pug therapy”. This means that when I drop her off at her dad’s, she goes and gets one of his three pugs and brings them to the car to visit me. She usually brings Olive. When she brought Olive to the car Sunday evening, Olive started sniffing Kevin because she’s never seen him. We were laughing hysterically because she snort-sniffs. 

Later on, my mom sent me a nice text about what a nice weekend she had and she’s so glad to see where I live and meet the family. 

Tricked 🤖

 I joined a Facebook group called “Old People being tricked by AI.” Which makes fun of situations online where old people think AI images are real and believable. 

Several times since then I have caught myself saying “oh wow look at that, that’s so cool” while scrolling, and then realizing it’s being posted by that group. 

Solar Eclipse 🌛🌞🌜

Everyone in Texas went insane over the solar eclipse here yesterday. Unfortunately, it was extremely cloudy and rained heavily. Kevin and I sat on a bench outside of our house. He asked, “Is it getting dark because of the eclipse or because of the storm?”  I shrugged and said, “Why not both?”  My daughter stayed home from school and traveled to Sabinal, TX with her father and stepmother. It wasn’t raining where she was, and she got a clear view. I was glad for that at least. She was so excited about it that she was texting me ALL IN CAPS. 

Here’s a picture I took. It’s not exciting. 

Here’s a nice AI image of the solar eclipse over bluebonnets. This pic is now my phone wallpaper. 

Here’s a funny meme. 

Here’s one of about 70-80 pics

My friend in Ohio took. Not sure how she got so many good pics from Ohio. 

 

 

Four Pics

We have a caterpillar spinning a cocoon on our house!  

They say you can grow celery like this in a bowl of water- we’ll see. 

Garden area is finally free of trash and weeds. 

Oh no a snake 🐍 

 

Living in Waller

 

Alex and Mitchell- starting to finally get along!  Stepbrothers! 

Homegrown onions 🧅 

Living with Kevin in the guest house on his parents’ 10 acre property is wonderful. The only negative is the driving. It’s a 65 mile drive one way to get to work for me. He drives all over the place anyway for his job, so he doesn’t care. He gets a car allowance. 

I get mileage pay if I drive my 91 year old client anywhere or run errands for her while clocked in, but not for to and from work. I didn’t tell her or the office that I moved to Waller. She knows that my boyfriend moved out there, but she doesn’t know I went with him. If she knew, she’d assume that I’m leaving, and I’m not. I don’t want to. 

For one thing, I still have to make the drive to fulfill my obligations to my daughter and my mom. If I got a caregiver job near Waller, I may not even be able to do the driving back and forth to do for them what I need to do for my daughter and mom. Evita is turning 17 in June, so I only have just over 14 months left until she’s 18 and don’t have to deal with custody arrangements anymore. My mom is self sufficient, but she can’t handle the vacuum or the trash. 

I also still do retail audits on six apps as a side hustle. Being forced to drive so far gives me the opportunity to do more of them on the way two and from. My daily goal is one audit in the morning and one in the afternoon, at least. Sometimes I do more. Sometimes, if Kevin is home early, I just go home without doing any. Just so I can see him. I also have a lot of things to listen to. I listen to Travis Everette, who is a real estate instructor on YouTube. (His entire class, all lectures, are free on YouTube!) and several audiobooks. Right now, I’m just trying to finish all the audiobooks in my library that I never finished, except for the Bible which is 52 hours. 

I’m also very devoted to my 91 year old client who will turn 92 next month. For one thing, she’s very nice to me. Kindness is worth a million bucks to me when it comes to elderly people. I’ve worked with some meanies. She’s also very generous and always lets me buy lunch on her card. I really want to stick with her until she dies. She doesn’t deserve to end up with a lazy or otherwise crappy person. There are a lot of crappy caregivers out there. Let them have the meanies. 

Kevin’s stepfather is turning 87 this Thursday. He’s an avid Gardner. He has a ton of tomato plants. I asked permission to plant a garden, and they gave me waayyyy more area than I could have imagined!  In one of the areas, there was a lot of weeds and a lot of trash including 144 nasty mason jars. I spent this weekend clearing that area out and starting seeds with my daughter. I also found over 50 pots that they said I could use.  I have no idea what to put in over 50 pots!!  Kevin spent the weekend clearing all the weeds and trash from the front and back patios of the guest house.  The last time I had a garden was in 2010 when Evita was 3!  Then Kevin’s stepfather took Evita aside and taught her how to re-pot tomato plants. He gave her two tomato plants to take back to her dad’s house. She also learned to drive the mule. The mule is a small vehicle, not an animal. 

Cow Cuddling 🐄 🐮

You can pay $50 to cuddle with cows for 30 minutes at Texas Gaushala. That’s what we did yesterday afternoon. They were beautiful animals. My daughter is an animal lover, so this was therapeutic for her. 

 

Part Four

 

There are some TNR cats that Kevin decided he can’t bring. It seems like everyone in the complex feeds them, and they’re fine. They don’t want to be trapped, and Kevin is going to miss them, so he might go back to check on them. 

As for what the investors are doing with the place, I’m not sure. In the row of five townhouses that it was in, two were vacant and two were being rented by young families with small kids. Kevin was baffled how you could rent a place out that had bad foundation problems and pipes. I said they probably just gave it all a temporary fix. Kevin didn’t think they could do that. Then a couple days before closing, the investor said he was sending “his building people” to check the place out.  Kevin said they mentioned just slapping plywood up there on the ceiling and painting over it. I said yup, that’s probably what they’ll do. The doors that are off the hinges will just be temporarily fixed, and probably the pipes will be the biggest issue for them. I could be wrong. I think they’ll just paint over everything and rent it out for about $1500 a month. The foundation in a shared wall unit cannot really be fixed without messing up your neighbors’ foundation even more. All five owners have to be on board with fixing the whole building. On top of that, the HOA will give them hell, but the investors have a legal department that seems to know how to handle HOA’s. Maybe the investors want to eventually buy all four other units?  In my real estate class, I know there are strict laws about approaching someone to ask if you can buy their house. I don’t remember the details- I’d have to look it over to be sure. 

In the end, I don’t know what their plans with the place are. I’m glad Kevin got out of it. Not going to lie, I also like him treating me like a queen because I connected him with these people. And yes, I know that unlikely to last “forever”. 

Everything is moved into the guest house now, and as we “put stuff up”, I’m starting to realize how much of a difficulty I’m finding it to live with a man again. Evita’s father was the only partner I ever lived with. We got married in 2004 and divorced in 2010. Of course my last relationship was long distance. I stayed with him while I was there, but of course we never lived together. 

I’m finding myself extremely nervous about every little thing. I keep asking Kevin, can I put scotch tape with the bag clips, can I put my fridge magnets on the front of the fridge, can I put all our extra sundries in a plastic drawer unit because that’s what I always do, and so many other little bitty things. I kind of broke down when it was time for dinner and I heated up some vegetable croquets. I put them on a paper towel in the microwave and literally asked him if that was ok. I wondered, he might be “anti paper towel in the microwave” for God knows, whatever reason. Who knows. He seemed bewildered. “Yeah that’s fine”. He said. I asked if he wanted me to put it on a plate, but deep down I didn’t want to dirty a plate when we were so busy. He was like, either way is fine. He honestly didn’t care. 

It’s because Evita’s father was so extremely nitpicky about every little thing. I seemed to have forgotten how I would do one little minor thing a certain way, and he’d correct me in a pissed off manner. It’s been 14 years, so I just didn’t remember- until I started assuming Kevin was the same way. Kevin is not. I just have to tell myself, they’re different people. Kevin isn’t anal. Now that my daughter is almost 17, I wonder if she goes through the same crap with her dad’s nitpickiness as I did when I was married to him. I thought to myself, when she moves out and gets her own place, she’ll probably be amazed at all the things she’s able to do without her dad there. I felt like that in 2010. 

After the croquets in the microwave, I had to take a break. I went to Walmart and got a few things that we needed and just browsed the Easter stuff for a while to decompress. Off topic, but Walmart has cute clothes right now too.  

Guest House 🏡

Above is a picture of the guest house on Kevin’s parents’ property that we will be living in “temporarily.” Today was closing day for him. I couldn’t be there, but he did call when it was all said and done to tell me everything went fine. When he called, he was taking his cat Mitchell to the vet to have a flea bath before dropping him off here in Waller at the guest house. When I talked to him, Mitchell was in the background very upset. I guess he hasn’t been in a car in years. 

Now I’m here, in the guest house by myself. Kevin will be home in a couple hours. He’s getting more things from the old place, and movers are going tomorrow. I’m a little beside myself, but in a good way. 

I guess I should mention that I understand the controversy surrounding home investors.  A lot of people will say they lowball you, but to that I say, of course they do. They not only bought this house “as-is”, but they got Kevin out of an extremely horrible situation. I didn’t know how much it was eating at him until we started getting serious about each other. It was really destroying him- and I know what it’s like for something to really destroy you. 

One article I found online featured a man who claimed that the home investors took advantage of his mom with dementia and gave her $25K less than the house was worth. If that’s the case, then all he has to do is show any medical records that she has dementia, and the contracts will be void. You have to be of sound mind to sell a house. Something tells me, though, that if I told this guy that to his face directly he’d probably say something like, “My mother doesn’t have an official diagnosis of dementia because she’s able to fake being normal in front of all the medical professionals that we put her in front of.”  My old boyfriend (Arizona guy) used to say stuff like this about his dad all the time. I couldn’t convince him that a person who truly has dementia wouldn’t be able to pull that off. I used to tell him, “Your dad isn’t faking being normal in front of the medical professionals.  He’s faking the dementia in front of you.”  His parents were very manipulative, and a lot of people are- so I wouldn’t be surprised if this guy in the article just assumed his mom had dementia and she didn’t. 

More arguments against this is that they take advantage of people in tough situations, and that they take advantage of people’s ignorance. This is likely true in a lot of situations. But why are people ignorant?  And if someone is in an awful position, they are grateful that there are people to get them out of it plus put money in their pocket. Not everyone knows what to do with a problematic house, and real estate is often an elusive thing to educate yourself about. I was never taught anything about it. I was just yelled at that I’d never be able to do it. 

Also, if enough people find themselves in situations where a home investor is their only way out, then soon this whole country is going to be owned by corporations and no one is going to have their own land. This is a problem that started with the fact that millennials largely can’t afford to buy homes. It can’t be nipped in the bud until the issues that created that situation are addressed. The days where you could just save for a house with one paycheck are gone. 

So basically, I understand all the criticism, I just think that in this situation what he did was best. 

I see such a change in Kevin. He used to be high strung, now he’s chill. I think this is all I have for now, more later.